How well do you know yourself?
When I talk with people about coaching they often say ‘I want to sort my life out but how do I know what to change?’
Answer the question for yourself
with this quickie test
Follow the instructions and then read what this could tell you about how you might be getting in your own way…
1. Take a piece of paper
2. Tear it in two
3. Notice how you do it and what you are thinking.
Do get on and take a piece of paper and tear it in half before you continue reading.
Before you continue reading!
Done it? OK, let’s continue…
Lets look at how you did it and what you were thinking –
Did you…
1. …rush to just get on and do it?
2. …worry that it wouldn’t be straight or that you might not get it right?
3. …worry about wasting paper?
4. …find you were thinking of something else entirely?
5. …criticise yourself for not making it neater?
6. …wish you could start again?
7. … wonder why you were wasting your time with this pointless task?
8. Or are you still reading ahead to see what it’s all about and whether it’s worth it before you bother to get on and tear some paper?
9. Alternatively, you might have simply got on with it without worrying about it and feel satisfied with the outcome, in which case – that’s great!
The principle I’m illustrating here is
‘How you do anything is
how you do everything’
How we do even the simplest task can give us clues as to how we do the bigger things in life. How you did this task could show you a lot about how you’re ‘doing’ your life at the moment, read on and see what the results mean to you and what you could focus on to make some changes…
Results:
1. If you rushed into the task without thinking about, it may be that this is how you do other things, things you do may happen to turn out right but sometimes it’s in the lap of the gods because you’ve hurried. This could mean you sometimes run headlong into situations before looking left and right, before planning and before thinking whether it’s a good idea or not – You might end up in some good situations and some bad situations but often ones which take time away from what you really really want to do.
Focus 1: Allow yourself the luxury of planning what you really want and take steps to get there
2. If you worried you might not tear the paper correctly, this might be how you do most things, worrying if you’re going to do it wrong, wondering about what will happen if you don’t get it right – That’s how you might be stopping yourself from doing the things you want to do.
Focus 2: Set up a phrase that you would love someone to say to you when you’re worried, for example “you’re doing great, believe in yourself” and repeat it in your head – loudly – every day
3. If you worried about wasting paper or wasting time, you might have an underlying belief that there’s never enough of anything. This sometimes stems from a difficulty in believing you deserve good things – That’s how you could stop really great things happening in your life
Focus 3: We are all deserving of good stuff – and anyway, what makes you so special to not deserve nice things?! ;o) Why not you? There is plenty of everything. Some problems with fair distribution maybe, but there is plenty enough for you. Visualise the beauty and affluence in nature and know that you have an access all areas pass.
4. If you were doing the task whilst thinking of other things, it may well be that this is how you do most things – with your thoughts elsewhere, scattering your focus and rarely finishing things off – That’s how you get stressed and disorganised and never seem to have enough time.
Focus 4: Take a very simple task like washing dishes, cleaning, writing with a pen, bathing, and do it really slowly and with thought, focus entirely on what you are doing, notice the tiniest details. Do this with at least one task a day. Notice with delight how much more time there seems to be in the day when you slow down time.
5. If you criticised yourself for ‘not getting it right’, (even when there was no right or wrong way to do it!) it’s likely that’s what you do whenever you’re trying to achieve something – That’s how you could be getting in the way of your own success.
Focus 5: Notice what voice you use to criticise yourself, change it to a squeaky mouse voice speaking very quickly and say the same thing to yourself. Laugh. Laugh again, louder this time. Congratulate yourself and move on.
6. If you wished you could start over again and do a better job of tearing the paper, it may well be that you do that with other things – That’s how you could be keeping yourself stuck in the past.
Focus 6: Imagine what life could be like if you could just start by looking at what you want and how to get it. Picture exactly what you would have, how you would live, what it will be like. If you find yourself thinking “yes but…” and criticising idealism, please see Focus number 5 then repeat Focus number 6.
7. If you were reluctant to have a go because you thought it was likely to be pointless, this may be something you think about other things in your life, leading to being preoccupied with noticing negative things and in doing so, stopping yourself from believing good thing can happen – That’s how you stop the good stuff from breaking through
Focus 7: Count 50 things that you are thankful for in your life…there really are thousands so 50 is easy.
You might start with the biggies like the people you love, the place you live, pets, family etc and then really think and list things like sunshine, clouds, rain, trees, stars, candy floss, golf, The Bee Gees (!), getting your plumbing fixed, ginger beer, rotary nose hair clippers or whatever floats your boat.
Do it now and then do it again before you go to sleep each night, you could write it down or just think it through, it’s a great way to fall asleep and an added bonus is the great dreams of beautiful things.
Optional Twist: Do it with someone else and take it in turns to say one each
8. And if you didn’t do the task at all because you thought you could skim read and get the gist of it without having to engage in the process; that may well be how you do other things – quickly and without getting fully into them. You may know a little about a lot of things but not a lot in depth. That’s how you stop yourself from ever reaching your full potential.
Focus 8: Please see Focus 4, this is a great one for you too.
9. If you did the task without criticising or judging yourself and focussed on what you were doing with creative curiosity – well done! – That’s how you make wonderful things happen in your life
Focus 9: Do more of the same!
If the way you tackled the task isn’t mentioned here here, have a think about how you got on with the task (or in what way you didn’t do it!) and ask yourself is there something familiar about how you did it that tells you something about ‘How you do everything’? What message is there for you about how you get in your own way?
And if, after reading about how you might be getting in your own way, you’re beating yourself up for doing it – STOP!!! STOP RIGHT NOW!!!
All you’ve done is noticed there’s a flat tyre, stop kicking it and think about how you’re going to get it (you) pumped back up :o)
(To pump yourself back up, follow the Focus tips)
Posted by Developer on 16 April, 2009. Comments (0)